Poem: My student flat by Gail Ingram

My student flat

for the students of Dunedin 2025

You are now entering Pandora

the Thunder Box, a Halfway Hou$e

for the Silver Fox, let the

Wardrobe open onto the Howes of God,

Wahaha, the Dirty Pirate 

in the Shrieking Shack

has seen Granger Things in this

Goon Saloon, Doll’s House Debacle –

a Sinking Ship we’re all in,

a Hotel California you can never

leave the Smackdown – Raw, it sure is

Thirsty work in the Kennel,

Howe to the Moon all you like,

poor Fridgette lost Fridge

and the Bando turned out

to be the Art Gallery, Haunted. Follow me

to the Ski Lodge at the Summit,

a Manik House, still the same old

Hoe-tel carry-on, better off to put

a road Cone on its head,

and feel free to take a Bic to strike out

the Cock Pit and the Boning Room,

I will. Wait, don’t go!

we meet again, Pink Flat

the Door, we’re ‘all ears’, and yes,

pour me a cup, Pink Teapot dear, at Poppie’s Pad,

a 7 eleven will do, under the pale blue

book spines of the Library,

I understand What Happens at Nana’s

Stays at Nana’s. Meanwhile, on Castle,

The Moat is a party of broken eggshells,

bottles and spilled couches, inside no doubt

a Rat and its Litterbox,

Queen, bless his soul, rides Bucking-him

Palace, you Rascals

on Regent, mine house is no Penthouse

or honeypot, perhaps a Bee Hive

for study, you’ve been To Howe and Back

but now you’ve arrived

at my Cosy Corner, my Humble Abode

on a giant’s street,

the Writer’s Cottage.

NOTE: This poem is made up of some student flat names in Dunedin as seen by me during my stay in the Robert Lord Writer’s Cottage, March 2025. I’ve dropped or changed the article in some of the names. The actual names of the flats as far as I can ascertain are: You are now entering Pandora, the Thunder Box, Halfway Hou$e, the Silver Fox, the Wardrobe, Howes of God, Wahaha, the Dirty Pirate, the Shrieking Shack, Granger Things, Goon Saloon, the Doll’s House, Debacle, Sinking Ship, Hotel California, Smackdown, Raw, Thirsty, the Kennel, Howe to the Moon, the Fridgette, Bando, Art Gallery, Haunted, the Ski Lodge, the Summit, Manik House, the Hoe-tel, the Cone, Bic, the Cock Pit, the Boning Room, Pink Flat the Door, ‘all ears’ painted on a door, the Pink Teapot, Poppie’s Pad, 7 eleven, the Library, What Happens at Nana’s stays at Nana’s, the Moat, Rat, the Litterbox, a mural of Queen, Bucking-him Palace, Rascals on Regent, Penthouse, a painted honeypot, the Bee Hive, To Howe and Back, Cosy Corner, the Humble Abode, the Robert Lord Writer’s Cottage on Titan Street.

Gail Ingram is an award-winning writer from Ōtautahi and author of three poetry collections, anthology (n.) a collection of flowers (Pūkeko Publications 2024) her most recent. She works as a creative writing teacher and editor.

Gail Ingram, poet | The Seventh Letter